Surprisingly Ambivalent

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I am on a plane to Costa Rica as I write this. Much to my dismay, I am completely ambivalent about this fact. I’ve been talking about going to Costa Rica for years and overcame resistance to make it happen this time. Yet, I cannot muster up the slightest bit of excitement. I am hoping it will change once I get there and it begins to sink in that I am actually there.

Leading up to this trip, there has been a lot going on in my life and I haven’t really had much time to think about it as much more than a looming deadline. Deadline for projects to be completed and living arrangements made were vying for my attention, not to mention my inner conflict of whether I really wanted to stay in LA or go back to New York. In addition, there have been personal changes that leave me without my favorite travel companion.

Between working on projects and intensive learning of Lightroom, Premiere Pro, Final Cut Pro, Spanish and anything else I can find online about photography business and photography in general, I have lived on my computer for the last 5 months even more than usual. I brought many learning things with me including the very textbook-like Best Business Practices for Photographers by John Harrington. But my brain is on overload so I think I’m going to forget all that for the next two weeks and just be. Just be in the moment and just be in Costa Rica.

Of course I will ‘just be’ with my camera. No detail will escape my lens. If I haven’t taken over 1000 pictures by the end of my trip, I haven’t gotten out enough. I am also there visiting my old song-writing partner so I expect some new music to come out of this. So I guess I have more plans than I thought. I will be posting regularly on this blog and my 90 Days photo blog for those who want to experience this vicariously through me. It is in the moment that I will find my passion for this trip through images, words and music.


  1. I think I know you feel, how times that should be so exciting are just …not, in my case usually because I am letting the rest life constantly affect my NOW. I feel silly offering this advice since I am so bad at it myself, but try to keep yourself in the present, on what you are doing at the moment you are doing it and nothing else.

    The rest of your world will still be there when you choose, on your own terms, to give it your attention.

    1. I hear you. Somewhere along the way, I started feeling the pressure of time. It’s self imposed, I know. I need to shake it and move through the world as I will, not as others would have me do. I am definitely going to live in the moment here. And on the boat tomorrow while fishing for tuna and grouper. 😉

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  1. I think I know you feel, how times that should be so exciting are just …not, in my case usually because I am letting the rest life constantly affect my NOW. I feel silly offering this advice since I am so bad at it myself, but try to keep yourself in the present, on what you are doing at the moment you are doing it and nothing else.

    The rest of your world will still be there when you choose, on your own terms, to give it your attention.

    1. I hear you. Somewhere along the way, I started feeling the pressure of time. It’s self imposed, I know. I need to shake it and move through the world as I will, not as others would have me do. I am definitely going to live in the moment here. And on the boat tomorrow while fishing for tuna and grouper. 😉